Scars are tattoos with better stories

In case you missed it: February 7-14 is Congenital Heart Defects Awareness Week.  

As our house is covered hearts for that other heart celebration, I wanted to take some time to share our experience with congenital heart defects.  CHD is something that has impacted our lives in a big way. Here's the story.

Check out my scar!

When we were on vacation a few years ago, there was a great shirt that said "Scars are tattoos with better stories." When we asked if they had it in little kid's sizes, the clerk looked at us like we were crazy.  I guess most people don't take pride in the scars of their 2 year olds!

When I was pregnant with Mason, we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl.  I REALLY wanted to know, but Bryan didn't want to at all.  I told him that he would win that time, but the next time, I got to find out what we were having.  Whenever anyone would ask what we were having, I'm sure we resorted to saying "We are fine either way, as long as it is healthy." (In truth, this was a lie, I really wanted a little boy and I was very nervous that it wouldn't be one) Little did I know how those words would grow to haunt me years later. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.  Mason was born one week after his due date at a very healthy 8 lbs 11 oz.  He was (and continues to be) the picture of health. This is something that I am thankful for every day.

Mason coming home from the hospital

When I was pregnant with Sam, we decided again to do the first trimester screening. During that screening we were alerted that there was something going on. The level 3 ultrasound showed us that we were having a baby boy!! (Yes, Bryan kept his word and I got to find out what we were having) It also showed that our baby had a heart defect. We were connected with a great cardiologist (Dr. Christensen) at Rocky Mountain Pediatric Cardiology. The day we went in, his technician was out on another case so he actually performed the fetal echocardiogram and was able to walk us through every step of what he was looking for and what he saw. I know know this is not the typical experience and am so thankful for this time we had with him.  He explained that our baby had a atrioventricular septal defect (AVSD). He also explained that this was completely correctable with surgery. It was now time to go back and tell people that we were expecting.  We even got to tell them that we were having a baby boy.  Then the comments started and I didn't exactly know how to respond.  Again, we heard "as long as he's healthy."  Well, we knew he wasn't going to be born a picture of health. We weren't sure what to expect when he was born. Sometimes I would answer letting people know that he has a heart defect and he will need surgery.  More often, I would just smile and say thank you. The pregnancy went on, we made a plan, and had lots of visits with the cardiologist and my OB to make sure that everything stayed as expected. It did.

See, it was even a relaxing day for Sam!

Sam was born 1 week before his due date at 8 lbs 8 oz with his pediatrician and my OB present and the cardiology clinic on call to read his echo. And he looked like the picture of health. In fact, if you hadn't seen his blood pressure results, you wouldn't have known there was anything at all wrong with this beautiful baby boy.  That being said, if we wouldn't have know what was going on, we would have seen the blood pressure results and chaos would have ensued.  I would not be surprised if we would have ended up in Denver to see what was going on. But we knew what was expected, so we didn't have to go anywhere.  Because of this, I am an advocate for prenatal testing. Even though this makes me unpopular in some circles, I firmly believe it made Sam's entry into the world a time of joy instead of a time of worry and fear.

Playing in the cardiologist's office

Sam came home and was a great baby.  He had surgery to correct his AVSD just before he turned 6 months old.  That story is here. Today, he continues to be full of life and energy.  The only way you can prove that he is a heart kid is the large white exclamation point down his chest.  We have decided that it is the perfect punctuation for how he lives life. If we all lived life with the joy that he has, the world would be a much happier place.

Brothers after Surgery

Why do I tell you this? I wanted to tell you that sometimes we get news that we don't expect or we don't want to hear.  Sometimes our babies aren't going to be born healthy. Sometimes our babies are born with things that can be "fixed." Sometimes there aren't fixes.  This is OK. 

Who is looking at a scar with this cute toothy grin?

Sometimes we focus so much on covering up our scars that we don't take the time to think about the lessons we have learned while getting the scars. 

Photoshopped (but you can still see the drain tube scar...just looking like a belly button!)

Un-photoshopped, just as cute!

From Sam's experiences, we've all learned lots.  Most of all, we've learned that life is precious and that we shouldn't take any day for granted. Now when I am talking with an expecting mom, I never say "as long as it's healthy." We didn't love Sam any less because he wasn't perfectly "healthy" on the day he was born. My go-to response is now "he/she will be so loved." Because that is true.  All mothers and fathers will provide so much love to their child whether it is a boy or girl, healthy or needing some additional support.